Sometimes, I miss you so much the pain is unbearable. Earlier today the last drop of soap in my lavender Dr. Bronner’s got me. Tomorrow it could be the lack of your figure in my empty bed when I’m about to go out for a run. The next day my bowl of oatmeal in the morning while browsing Reddit. The reality of life has hit me. At last. Because no matter how much I grovel or wish that things could have worked, I know that you will never trust me or love me or even speak to me again.
I’m done with the who did what and what is right and what we could have done differently. I think we both know that we were doomed from the start this time. But we sure did try. I just wonder if maybe I could have been different, because these times when I miss your presence are so utterly painful and sad. But, in my heart of hearts I know. You were my first love, and I wanted to badly for you to be the love of my life, but that can never be.
You deserve the world. I don’t ever want to hear about it, but you deserve that perfect person for you. I will always love you. Even when I am married with kids, you will still be my first love, and when they are old enough, I will tell them the epic story of You and I. I am sorry for the hurt. But you are still dear to me.
